Sometimes I'm so introverted I'm not even human

~bad jokes, fandoms, pretty pictures, and random stuff~

Snapchat @ switchblade303

(Source: tomhazeldine)

pharoahsectotherm:

sapientpawnkeeper:

somebody should write an essay comparing and contrasting tina from bob’s burgers and meg from family guy and explain why tina hit the mark for respectfully portraying the awkward teenage years and why meg is a huge fucking insensitive joke that isn’t even funny

Tina is a character, Meg is a punchline. 

mjolnirismypenis:

rachelbearenson:

so turns out the guy who discovered uranus originally wanted to name it “george”

just. imagine a planet called George

mercury venus earth jupiter saturn GEORGE

Yeah but what made him call it Uranus?

"No, you can’t call it George"
"Well fuck then, Uranus"

shanology:

cockedtail:

i need more tony stark facing his anxiety

more clint barton with his hearing aid

more bruce banner growing and dealing

more natasha romanoff accepting her new family

more sam wilson dealing with his own past

more bucky barnes becoming bucky again

Basically we want Avengers: The Therapy Sessions

infractos:

its so hard to be positive when you’re bleeding from your vagina

(Source: flourei)

slaughteroftheweeaboos:

ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children

(Source: dumpybear)

all american family dinner

  • mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
  • son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
  • mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
  • son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
  • dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
  • son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
  • dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
  • mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
  • son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
  • dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
  • son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition

is-doitsu-an-instrument:

bedussey:

THERES ALWAYS THAT ONE SHIP

YOU CAN TOLERATE EVERY OTHER FUCKING SHIP IN THE WORLD

BUT THAT ONE

FUCKING

SHIP

MAKES YOU SO ANGRY THAT YOU CANT HANDLE IT AND YOU WANT TO TURN INTO THE HULK THROW BRICKS AT YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN WHENEVER YOU SEE IT

yeah i didn’t like titanic either

i was gonna reblog anyways but that titanic comment just made this 10x better

Anonymous asked:

But like Spanish is a language but it's not a nationality like they speak Spanish in Mexico and Port o' Rico and stuff but it's not like theres a place called Spania full of Spanish *people*

vthebookworm:

cannedviennasausage:

shavingryansprivates:

digatisdi-deactivated20140324:

Please be joking

port o’ rico

guys remember when

I still cackle about this

(Source: c-mines)